brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so explain again why im purple
no
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
