my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
