she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
