i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize