i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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