i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
