I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
