i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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