The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
