id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
