My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
