my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
