If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
