Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
