Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Are we still banned from the library?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
