i think my tv is drunk
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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