Your tits are I can't wait for
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
