spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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