I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
