If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
