I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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