Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize