there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
