You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
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