when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
