Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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