lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
