there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
