he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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