I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
