it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
