he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
