New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
