my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
there is puke in my bra ... again
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
