I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
