weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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