I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Sponge bath it is.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
