You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
