I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize