people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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