I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
