"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
