You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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