Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
