i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
