so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
