maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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