I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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