i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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