U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
