he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
