you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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