So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize