you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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