when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
