I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
