Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
