How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
