im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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