My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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