It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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