ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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